Saturday, June 09, 2007

"More Baptisms, Please." A little "black face" might help as well.

Just when you think Baptists couldn't get any dumber, a church in Gastonia, N.C., Pilgrim Baptist, sponsors an event "meant to honor gospel music history" by casting three white church members in "black face" pantomiming to recordings of black gospel singers. Great idea? Can we think of anything else really stupid to try next? How do we know they did this? It's all over the news, all over the nation now. Maybe next time just start with "mud on your face."

The nation awaits with bated breath (not "baited," like, they've just eaten some worms or bad shrimp) for the Southern Baptist Convention in San Antonio, Texas, which begins next Tuesday. Dr. Frank Page has announced that the goal for SBC'ers this year will be the same as it was last year, and the year before and the year before that, etc., etc.: "an increase in baptisms." While the SBC is searching for millions of missing members they would like to counter the missing epidemic with a revival through baptisms.

Dr. Page made the observation that there has possibly been something wrong with their push for baptisms, "I think we've been trying to raise baptisms in nonrevived churches among nonrevived people." Ya think? And baptism is the answer. That's like the elderly church members whose children never attend church and are living with a "companion" and on drugs and so forth, saying "If I could just get 'em back in church." Yeah, that's the answer: get 'em back in church and get 'em baptized, that'll do it. Then we can nurture them with a little black face. And the next thing ya know, they'll be deacons. Praise the Lord!

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